What is your why?

ByTess Fletcher

Have you ever sat and thought about what drives you? Like, what really fuels your passion and makes you want to get up every day and do your best to make a difference? My ‘why’ began when I was a kid and I knew from that moment that I would strive to do something with my life that made a difference for others. I had three cousins who were molested by their paternal grandfather. I’m not sure how long it had been going on before it came to light, but I know it devastated my aunt (my mom’s sister). I was just a kid myself (young teen) but knew that the wheels of justice seemed to be broken during the whole process. He finally was sentenced but it was not enough time for the pain and abuse he put them through.

Kids Need a Voice

We will fast forward this story to 2001. I heard an ad on the radio for a local CASA (court appointed special advocates) program and decided I was going to volunteer. CASAs speak up for children in the foster care system who have been removed due to some form of abuse or neglect. To be a CASA requires the following:

  • Be 21 years old and pass a thorough background check
  • Go through 30 plus hours of initial trainings
  • Agree to get 12 hours of continuing education annually
  • Agree to visit your child at minimum, once per month
  • Meet with all parties in the case regularly
  • Submit a court report that outlines the facts obtained and recommendations to the court

I was a volunteer for a little over two years before going to work for the program as a Volunteer Coordinator. I later became Executive Director in 2008 when the CASA program merged with the newly forming Child Advocacy Center.

In 2005 I was sitting in court when a case was called involving a large sibling group. Kids were brought into care due to drug abuse by the mom and the suspicion of drugs being sold as well as drug dealers in and out of the home. All of the kids had the same mom, but there were multiple fathers (most in prison). Due to the size of the sibling group, it was almost certain that they would be placed in multiple homes, making visitation with each other very difficult. The judge at the time allowed DHS to attempt to locate appropriate family members as opposed to placing them with foster parents. We were probably in court until 7:30 or 8:00 that evening.

I sat and watched as each child went home with family, but one. A little 7 or 8-year-old boy sat there watching all of his siblings go home with other family, while no one came for him. My heart broke. When I got home that evening, I told my husband that I was quitting my job and we were going to foster this child. If you work for CASA, you can’t foster or adopt out of foster care, because it’s considered a conflict of interest.

My husband and I talked about it and decided to wait and see if family stepped up for him and allow for the system to work. He was eventually bounced around from foster home, to group home, until he ended up in Fayetteville. An advocate was assigned to the case but wasn’t able to continue the case due to personal reasons. We eventually assigned another advocate to it and she made contact with him via phone regularly.

So many times, I thought about quitting because I wanted him to have a family that loved him but something was telling me that while I could always love and support him, I wasn’t the placement he needed. He ended up being placed in the home of a football coach and his wife, which is right where he needed to be. He always loved football and he thrived in their home. They were willing to adopt him, but he made the decision to remain in care so that he could get educational help and go to college. He ended up playing for the Razorbacks. later he was drafted in the 5th round by the San Francisco 49ers. Now, you all know I’m a Saints fan for life, but I will cheer him on anytime the 49ers play. I’ve gone to see him play at every level – high school, college and the NFL. Every single time, I tear up when I hear them call his name.

I tell you this story because I want to leave you with this. Find your WHY. Find something that makes you want to continue making a difference in the lives of others.